Slow Boat to China

The Olympics are a big deal, a major deal... like whole world watching, everyone talking about it, big deal. Everyone has a favorite sport to watch, but are some of these really sports? Don’t get me wrong, I couldn't even begin to play, not to mention compete in these, but lets take a look at what is considered top tier world wide “sports”.

Table tennis

Let’s clear up any confusion, its ping pong. Calm down, I know “that’s not what its called”, c’mon its like calling a garbage man a Waste Disposal Engineer. I have played and its fun, for about 15 minuets. But an Olympic sport? People devote years of their life to become the absolute best in the world at this? Its fun to watch the guys jumping over the back barrier to try and hit the ball 25 feet back to the table, but im still thinking, not an Olympic worthy sport.

Now, throw a few cups of beer on the table and loose the paddles and ya got Beer Pong, now I’d watch that! Talk about an all time favorite, a ratings gold mine, and ad space prices to rival that of the Super Bowl! Every country in the world would bring a team... fans would take days off work to gather around the tv and watch the antics ensue!

Badminton
“few viewers could name the world's fastest racket sport”. No kidding, because no one cares. Badminton is like tennis kid sister. Racquet ball, now that’s intense. Your gonna definitely walk away with a bruise the exact shape of the ball that just slammed your thigh at 85mph. Your opponent can drill you in the back of the head at pretty much any point of the game and there is even a good chance your going to loose an eye! Tennis, world wide popularity, can’t argue with that. But Badminton... really? I think this must be players who couldn't’t cut it at the other racket games. It’s like getting cut from the basketball team, so going to run cross country instead.
My answer: lose the birdie and use a bird! Now you’re talking! Sure you gotta beat your opponent but you also have the “wild card factor”, the bird! Who knows what could happen, no set plays here, all bets are off... “looks like an easy shot... OH, the bird dodges to the left and Jun-Lee slams his team mate in the head!” Instant crowd favorite.

Gymnastics.

WAIT, wait...not the real one, that one is cool, im down with that. Im talkin about the one where they twirl around with a ribbon. “Ribbon twirl”, an OLYMPIC sport. I would love to see the reactions when the topic comes up. “Oh, wow, you have an Olympic medal? What event? Oh, the ribbon twirl, cooooool. Yeah, no, that’s great. Really, congratulations.”
Ya know, I really don’t think you can redeem this one. It’s a ribbon on a stick. World wide event. Life long training: ribbon... stick.

So, here is to the Olympics and the athletes. Lets just hope the Olympic village has separate dinning rooms so some of the athletes dont realize they didn't quite make it to the "cool table".